


Aomine vs Printer

by mazzie (orphan_account)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:12:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3960511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mazzie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aomine struggles to print an assignment. Just as he's becoming more and more convinced that his printer is possessed, Kagami comes to the rescue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aomine vs Printer

**Author's Note:**

> Short and sad attempt at humor. I think this can be classified as a crack fic? Anyway, there's a bit of a plot that is based in part on a true story. 
> 
> I do not own any characters mentioned in this story.

It’s 9:00pm and if Aomine doesn’t have his research paper completed, printed, stapled and turned in by 8:00am the following morning before sitting down for his final exam, (which he’s barely studied for) then he will be royally screwed. That’s leaving aside how screwed he’ll be if he doesn’t pass the exam, but he’s got that taken care of. Kagami was still in possession of one of Midorima’s freaky pencils, so there was Aomine’s plan for the exam. Roll the pencil, choose the answer, pass.

Kagami was already done with final exams, therefore, he was free from torture for the rest of the summer. Aomine’s parents were gone for the week, so he had invited Kagami to lounge around his house to watch as he stressed about his lack of productiveness and procrastination habits. Kagami had been good and kept his distance, trying his best to let Aomine concentrate. But Aomine was so easily distracted by the redhead that he ended up barricading himself in the work office across the hall from his bedroom.

About eight breaks later (food, bathroom, food again, bathroom, shower, some snacks, bathroom again, and a quick fuck because come on, he can’t concentrate if he’s restless) it was almost 2:30am and Aomine was just finishing up his paper. Now all he had to do was print it. After quickly (and poorly) revising, he hits the print button and he waits. And waits.

And waits.

“What the fuck,” Aomine murmurs to himself and checks to make sure that the printer is plugged in. It’s not. He fixes that problem and after making sure that everything is properly connected he waits patiently for the printer to stop making the sounds of printer sacrifice so that he can hit the print button again.

_Success_ , he thinks as the printer sucks in a paper and begins to slowly let it out. There’s print on it, so Aomine sits back and waits for twelve pages to exit the printer so he can call it a night. Except, he can’t call it a night because the pages coming out of the printer have weird text that looks somewhat satanic. The words are printing sideways and on top of each other, so Aomine hastily hits the cancel button and sighs in relief when the pages stop coming.

He tries again but this time there’s a paper jam. He gets off his chair and wrestles with the printer, finally freeing the page (in bits and pieces) only to be told _Ink cartridge not aligned. Check that ink cartridge is properly placed_. He does as his printers asks, prints an alignment page and when he tries to print again the printer makes a screeching sound like that of a wounded animal. Aomine startles as the printer begins to vibrate and rattle. He feels close to tears.

“Please, please,” Aomine says going as far as to lean down and kiss the printer. “I’ll be nice to you forever, just please work.” He runs his hand over the top and sides of the printer like it’s an animal that needs calming.

He crosses his fingers, hits print again only for the weird text to come out again. Instead of waiting for twelve pages of sideways text from Hell, he cancels the print job and shuts off the printer with a loud “Fuck you, then!”

Aomine takes a deep breath and begs the printer, “Last time, okay, buddy?” he feels stupid but he thinks it will work. There’s no paper jam and everything is aligned _whatever the hell that means_ , and so he waits to see what comes out of the printer.

It’s a photograph of his deceased fish. The one he buried in the backyard because he was so attached to it.

He squeaks almost as loud as the printer and turns it off.

His dead fish is haunting him. He’s sure of it. His printer has been possessed by his dead fish all because he didn’t give him a proper fish burial. How is a fish supposed to rest in peace if it’s in the dirt?!

He’s slumped over the desk when there’s a knock on the door that makes him jump so high he almost slips off the chair. Without getting up he stretches an arm and opens the door to see Kagami looking bleary eyed and confused.

“Almost done?” he asks with a voice gravelly from sleep. Aomine wants to fuck him again.

Instead he gripes, “I’ve been done! I just can’t get the printer to work so what was even the point of writing this paper! Kagami, I swear this printer is possessed it’s showing me my dead fish and it’s all because I insisted we bury him instead of dropping him in a lake or something–”

He’s cut off from his desperate rambling when Kagami leans in to drop a kiss on his head. “Go to sleep, Aomine.”

“But my homework,” he begins but Kagami puts his fingers over his mouth. “The library doesn’t open until eight but that’s too late,” Aomine mumbles behind Kagami’s fingers.

Kagami nods and yawns. “Don’t worry about it. It’s almost four in the morning. If you don’t sleep you’ll do a piss poor job on your exam and then we won’t get to play in the match.”

There’s no way Aomine’s failing. There’s no way he’s going to let Kagami beat the crap out of Touou in the next game all because he couldn’t pass a class. Aomine’s too tired to retort.

“If I can’t get it to print I’ll call Satsuki at a reasonable hour,” Kagami continues, ushering Aomine out of the chair and towards his bedroom. Aomine wants to argue, but one look from Kagami has him turning around and heading straight to bed.

* * *

When he wakes up in the morning it’s to the smell of coffee and a beautiful redhead sitting at his kitchen table with a wonderful packet of paper that looks a lot like his research paper. Aomine is completely elated and leans in to kiss the side of Kagami’s mouth.

“How late did you stay up?”

“Maybe like half an hour after you went to bed?” Kagami says giving Aomine a tired smile.

“What was wrong with the printer?” Aomine asks.

Maybe Kagami didn’t even use his printer. Maybe he went away to take care of the problem so that Aomine could get at least four hours of rest.

“Your shitty neighbors have been fucking with your internet router. They hacked into your network and figured out how to send stuff to your printer. I just had to reset the connection and change the security.”

Or maybe Aomine was dating a genius.

With a kiss placed properly on Kagami’s mouth Aomine left the kitchen to get ready for his last final exam. He made sure he had everything and tried not to think about his stressful night with the printer. He couldn’t help but grin at the thought of how in the fight against the printer, Kagami had won.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally meant to be a drabble posted on tumblr, but decided to post it up as an original story since it's 1k of words.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^.^


End file.
